second last day of the year! sadly, prayer meeting has been cancelled. and there goes another chance for me at duty hahas.

hrmm ok terry and huat have gone back, while kelly has come back. and so has isa. people do come and go huh. hehs.

hai so many things gg on once sch reopens. theres cca orientation prep on fri and it itself on sat. then er jie's bday! jem's bday too. too bad i cant go out on the 1st with them la. urgh. regrets abt not doing hw. should have known there're always fun things to do on and arnd new year. :)

watchnight tmr! heh that is one service i look forward to annually. it not only ushers in the new year. its super long! haha and most of all its corporate. i love corporate services alot. like one big family coming together hahas. and its somewhat formal too. like everyone (i hope) makes an effort to come in something more smart/formal. thats what i anticipate, hope im not the only one. well at least one other person thinks so. ;)

i have a full day today to do what i can. pia liao.

yi ji bang! :)

the mood is in the air! the sicky-icky mood of gg back to sch. have gotta start packing for sch and all. and btw, if most of my words are missing their 'c', do pardon me. my keyboards kinda screwed. and i shall not bother myself with inserting the letter so do bear with me! :)

hey jl thank you. nah nothing that i did, really. and the blog is prolly something that might be useful to you? :) and anw still i think its good that you did some thinking this season.. it does refresh you, doesnt it? haha you've got me into that mood too. ya know, like thinking of the past year. its an apt time, really. end of year, time to reflet huh. think of things like.. how did you spend your time? and whether you made impacts on ppl or not. i mean, its really quite pointless to live everyday for nothing eh? might as well make somthing good out of all of it. :) so yea im gonna start thinking too.

hehs i realised that dec hols are always a time where i grow.. alot. its really really the BEST time of the year! its mainly youth camp which teaches me alot i think. what God does in me, the new visions He sets on my heart, things like what He would want me to do for His glory in the coming year. and most of the time i get to meet new friends. and that makes a wide impact on me. which does last. :) esp this year. now that i've been for the fever100 trip. i mean, it really did something in me. which im sure will stay, for long.

and also, this dec i got the oh-awesome chance to fulfill one of my aspirations. to further extend my capacity in the area of playing for the Lord! :) along with trng to play at the edge, i got to meet soo many ppl. and of course this freshman experience will leave a faint scent which will always linger even in the future. haha. (i mean it will leave a lasting impression. my descriptions has never been good.) what an awesome time i had! i tell you, all this i can never achieve (i think) if it were sometime else in the year. oh praise the Lord for the year end. truly, all these things i keep so dear to my heart.

also last year, youth camp was unbelievably incredible! i certainly agree that it was de best, jl! :) God did so so much, which i must be sure to always keep in mind. being on the comm also made such a difference. oh well isnt God awesome! i could sing His praises every moment.

but other than all these that God has bestowed on me, i think i havent been making a conscious effort to do what He wants. i am even more guilty of it after youth camp where He clearly set me a task to accomplish. not my might, not by power but by the Spirit!

ok pls keep me accountable. i plan to do something for my class in 2004. to set up a concrete christian fellowship thing, not like what we had been doing last year, though it was good. we had worship sessions once a week and prayer every morning, but less consistently at the end of the year. so im praying (or rather i will begin) that we will find favour in the eyes of all. and most of all that my friends will be willing to support me in this. i hope that the hols serves as a growing ground for them as it does for me. where i grow so much in the Lord and by the end of it, am burning to do something radical for Him. :) ah seriously! hope everyone has gone thru the amazing experience too. what a testimony of a true and living God.

other than that, i hope, of course, to bring more people to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. its sad that some people, upon reading this, say im holy-holy. or anything along that attitude of silent mockery. hai but we cant blame them cos they do not know of this cause so worthy we would be willing to give up so much that we have for Him. hmm doesnt that thought alone give you such a burden for the unbelievers? think about it mann. this gift so precious that we can share if we choose to?

haha anw i just thought of something. i remember there were a few times when i wanted to physically feel the love of God. i grabbed my pillow, sat on my bed and squeezed my kaede so hard and prayed. that i would feel His love again la. well who can blame me for wanting to feel so loved right. :) anw, God poured down His love upon me at that very moment. :) haha sounds amusing and silly but well- do try it! then, it felt like the harder i squeezed my pillow the more i would feel it. but haha. yes God has so much love to give us. if we would be willing to receive it, yah? :)

God is:
magnificent
eternally wonderful
glorious
ever-merciful
and more than all you can ever think or imagine
He's everything

well all you out there lets try rewriting our new year resolutions. and this time, why dont we go that extra mile to try achieve them? haha yess and not like every other year you've had yah. :) esp if it applies to what God has set on your heart. well even if He didnt, and it brings glory to His Name, why not! :)

no matter who you are, i love you so so much! you are very precious and i treasure you lots. :)

be blessed.

MERRY CHRISTMAS to one and all. and a HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you Jesus! :)

boxing day today. acks having a bad throat, cough and abit of flu. and i am so sure it was the amount of wing zings consumed over the past week that did it. haha since kor's party i'd been eating it for every meal everyday till christmas!

anw, i had a really good time this christmas. i have to say it was pretty radical. in the sense that Jesus was proclaimed king and there were declarations of love for Him! haha in the form of the christmas programme the christmas wish. national tv! i was truly wow-ed. man i pray there will be more of such things! amen!!

on the eve of the most anticipated season/festival of the year, we went ta get kor's christmas present. a new bass! and then as usual they alll came over for the party. haha we played new games this year! on the whole it was really fun, esp with kaka and his cast. muahaha. got really pretty gifts! :) thank you all. i remember last year when meifen and family were over, and on christmas morning i was typing li an email telling him what i got for christmas. haha. but this time was quite pathetic! jol and i stayed up writing cards and wrapping presents. hhaha we slept only at 5am..!

youth came over on christmas morn! like, christina's ringing of the doorbell woke us up, haha. and then the 3 guys came over and it was soo embarrassing cos both of us were still in our pjs. nighties. wadever. haha and i refused to go down so jo had to make the sacrifice instead. haha! we had alot of fun la. most of the youth came. so it was great. we jammed abit with the (new) bass and guitar! also discussed our item for the edge. hahahaha. the roast beef song is hilarious! dont know who will go waving the cutlery arnd madly. haha jen had better not back out. :D

ken terry and ah fatt are over! pa and en came bak last night too. we first went to tams. ahaha i got a hair extension! :) wheeps. so hiao. haha whoo.

then we went for dinner at sushi tei at paragon. the oyako don and ramen with tempura took ages so we had to cancel them. oh fatt is so adorable! hes my 8 yr old cousin whom i've never seen before, maybe only as a baby- when i was a toddler too or sumthin. so yah. hes quite cute but extremely active too.

we were late receiving pa and en and in the end they were the ones who waited for us to pick them up. haha whooops! later kor ken terry and i went to town to catch our movie. :) we watched love actually at 11. (finally!) saw edwin, jason emmanuel and another guy at cine. hehs. spent awhile at the arcade. bought the christmas jazz cd. haha us and our silly fascinations of the merc cab.

so todays boxing day. having an ex-lifegroup dinner at eunice's plae tonight. but dont think i'll be gg down. got to ground myself biig time. i am so dead meat re: hw! sheesh. sicko. luckily i dont have the retest thing. oh dear just remembered i've got a squash camp on the 29th! sighh. got to turn them down le. then im on duty for pm on the 30th. watchnight on the 31st! and school starts on the 2nd. urgggh. i have a mere 5 days or less to catch up on all things to do with school. whats more with the cca orientation thing i've gotta deal with.. ahh. helpp..!

PLUS i have to remove my hair extension. booo hahaha. minor detail eh. ;)

realised that i'd been looking at your wrong blog add, matt! no wonder its so outdated. :) and no one is updating anymore. guess the novelty's wearing off.

okaay. oh eek my orchid is rotting. and my room is one biiig horrid mess.

christmas service today! aurora stayed over from last night's party and came along with us to the service today. remember her anyone? it was pretty funny having to talk to her. haha as in it was quite gan ga but well shes real nice and easy to talk to anw.

missed evening svc, but thank you lil for the christmas present! :)

i really do miss them already. hmm.

yawn. think im coming back with my consistency with blogging le.

anw today was pretty tiring. woke up early and did not oversleep (wow!) for trng. it was kinda slack there too.. we ref-ed mich and ash's game, then played the 2 vs 1 game. that was fun..! but the whole time was really slack la. oh and luke tai was our coach for today wor! :) hehs. last trng of the year! yesss. my happiness is only gonna last 2 weeks.

had lunch with syah chris and mich. whee it was kinda like "old times" as chris sed. i am like woah shocked. and very xin wei. all tt happened with iche, it prolly was too much thinking on my part. hope so. so, kel and vei, everythings alright now. :)

went down to elim. janice wasnt there today. so i took the stage! :) all by myself. ok it was really fuun, and definitely a good experience too. scary man, esp today when there was no definite songlist and when all was subject to change cos jeremy didnt really have a sermon. things were diff la, ie. so it was a real biig challenge for me. and all the other musicians but weelll they are so much more pro and experienced right.

whats more im not at all familiar with the synthi. the different what-do-you-call-thats. types of instruments and voices to use. theres the prog or combi to choose from, a or b, and then comes the number. ok im sure you have no clue as to what im talking abt. but anw the main idea is that it gets really confusing.

think the what a friend i've found song was pretty screwed up, on my part. didnt dare to play loud, kept adjusting my vol. when i was supposed to be more up. think the sound guys were like huh. haha but it sounded all wrong and i was looud. paiseh leh. anw thank God for everything, in the end it was still awesome all the same. of course i didnt know the chords to many songs, kept bugging elvin but for the rest i just pretended to play, kinda. ahahas. well well. jason sed he'll maybe put me up more often in future. hees. yayy!! :) more practice shall do, and practice makes perfect yah.

kor's having the councillors over tonight. got lotsa great food from qb. theres ham, drumlets, some nice chicken thing, and meatballs in the spag sauce! yumm. im so thirsty now. haha and kor just got friendster.

wow tmrs the christmas svc already. on the way home just now i was like oh yah hor! and i havent invited anyone. hmmm.. quite sad. must start inviting my relatives again. tania! you! always dont go to the edge anymore. haha nah la. seriously, christmas is losing its essense. sighh. but we're gonna make it good eh? :) definitely.

hmm must be very careful with what i say here le man. its like super public now. silly me has been giving my web add away.

the 29th is a long way away. actually not. but it sure seems like it.

ok i plan to sleep early but it cant get any later le. head was throbbing badly imm once the svc ended today. think i didnt feel it earlier cos was playing very intensely, serious. haha was thinking hard for the chords and all. hahs.

ok toodles to one and all.

all alone at home now. en and pa have flown off to brunei! and my sms pal has also flown home to kl. :( hmm. will miss him dearly. well well.

yest was kor's bday. went to top of the M for dinner! haha it was real nicee. but ex too. our dinner was like $500+. crazy right. and the valet was $14 per car! urg, disgusting. anw i enjoyed myself very much with my delicious veal cutlet and the romantic ambience. tho i had to forgo the post-trip meeting!

they caught the video and -ahem- lil said they had a rolling time watching me kill xiao qiang. haha ok. i have to catch it some other time. hmm my dear friend lhet has been calling but cuts the call off after the first ring. vicky said its either that he wants us to call back, OR that he's reminding us of well.. him. hhaaha.

hmm those who went to east timor have not yet updated their blog, tho they promised. haha. quick! i want to hear how your trip went. :) bet it was as enjoyable as all the others. marcus is also like "i miss thailand". he said hes gg back inmarch next year! ahh o want to return to phil too. maybe i'll get the chance to. but its the Os year. grr. hai donno la.

oh went for trng yest after a long while. zainal let me off by only requiring me to fight to get into top 8 in jan. i definitely wont be able to perform this week tts why. hmm top 5 confirmed liao. and also maybe chris and mich. poor poor me. its my last chance to try get a place. stresss.

then went to tp to meet the guys for lunch. well it started with a drink with isa. then led on to lunch with everyone else like brian, derek and hilda. haha anw in the end we bought lunch back to the building cos they were still busy with stuff. was fun all the same. matthew! hehs. isa was asked to lead worship last min. with me as the only supporting musician la. and poo i am bad with chords. so anw we went ahead (in faith!) and eh ok it was fine. God was in the place yah. :) matthew came in with the drum machine at the last song. had to leave for dinner, so wished isa good luck and ciao-ed. :)

anw heard that jeremy led worship so it was pure relief for him. hehs.

yes! finally uploaded my manila pics unto shutterfly. okay it took abit over 2 hours tho. hundred over pics. clickhere. enjoy! :D

hmm its christmas already next week! and there isnt that christmas feeling in the air that used to exist huh. thats sad. and i have not started writing cards. hw not touched yet. how shao xing. should really get on with starting soon.

hrmm okay. masaya ako abt everything this week, and salamat Diyos for it all! pagpalainka nawa ng Diyos!

paalam!

ahh. im back on blogger. haha missed me? i bet so, esp my 'regulars'. :) its been a long time! so much has happened the past week. the short trip to manila has been soo amazing. exciting, bringing fresh challenges every single day! WOW.

i shall try my best to summarize everything tho that is definitely 100% impossible, esp with me. just look at my journal which i write in everyday there! :D

the district where we stayed in is called quezon city. it actually aint in manila itself. the place.. pretty undeveloped. our house was kinda like a one room flat. small, but cozy. and its just a one metre step away from the sanctuary next door! assures that im not late for church. :) the sanctuary is really small too, with a minute stage and a small altar area in the front. beside the stage is a keyboard and amplifier. basically, the band includes just a guitarist and drum machine-er. the keyboard is rarely used, i think.

so at the airport pastor carlos came to receive us. he houses 6 teens in his own place from a slum area called navotas. the 5 guys always follow pst carlos and his wife sis marie on their ministry, which is really exciting. they sometimes gather street kids and make acquaintances, which im sure will later develop to be a small outreach thing. currently, their main focus is navotas, where they will be starting a church next year. keep them in prayer yah? navotas is a squatter area where the homes really arent in live-able conditions. the houses are more like.. holes in walls. im being entirely honest so that you guys can get a better picture of it. i thot this way abt the place too at first, but later i got more used to it. anw, you get the picture. between houses facing each other is a one metre gap with a drain running in the middle. the drain water is filthy, really black and contaminated. left uncovered, and the kids just walk in the drains and all. hmm. its unhygienic, definitely.

anw, we got to visit this place on the second day (tues) cum prayer roaming. oh yea jen and i got to play bball with two of the guys, michael and jack. bball is the main leisure activity there, esp for the kids. sometimes it seems like its the only thing which keeps them going. btw i forgot to mention earlier that navotas is a place of gangsterism. AND, the guys staying with pst carlos were gang members, even leaders! so it is soo awesome and radical, the way they are now all for God, with a heart of service unto Him. wow, huh?

we did evangelism on wed. wow. i got the chance to share with this lady who smoked heavily. anw pastor carlos and another lady was with me. for the earlier homes we visited, they did most of the talking. but when we got to this house, Pst left it to me. haha stress! so anw thank God, i started sharing and at the end of it, pastor took over. and we prayed the sinners prayer together! :) she seemed really eager, listening. so, all glory be to God! wow. another soul saved, i et the angels were rejoicing in heaven. amen! :D

day four, we did abit of shopping at the shoemart near our plaace, then went to navotas for bible study. i enjoyed every single bit at navotas! we (sis marie and i) were paired up to go distribute tracks and invite ppl to the bible study. so we did. because we finished up our tracks so quickly, we went back earlier. and michael, procy and ismail soon came with the guit. so we kinda sang a few songs. i played "Lord i lift your name on high" for them. :) one of their more favourite songs there! then during the bible study 3 of the guys (procy, danio and mic) shared testimonies. later we had food and fellowship! it was such a time to treasure. we talked, joked, laughed. haha and procy continued with his pointing-to-the-sky joke thing. haha had such a funkeh and memorable time there.

the next day was mainly shopping day la. haha we went down to mandaluyong's megamall. and i mean mega! walked arnd, bought lotsa bodyspray and later went to the mandaluyong lifegroup. in the end it turned out to be a special service to introduce us! haha we prayed for them with oil. what a first-time experience. fun. :) the kids really loved us. thruout the entire trip, we were treated like royalty. what an honour! but yet, this left me humbled. so little we are, so small fry, and yet people respect and admire us so much. how befuddling.

anw we got the chance to take all modes of transport there. maybe except the horse carriage. but we took mainly the jeepneys. tried the tricycle, bus, taxi. i so love taking the jeepneys! and it is such en extreme challenge, crossing the roads there. haha, seriously. we grabbed on to each other and ran for our lives, tho that could not really be done because the vehicles were as close as bumper to bumper. so we often had to squeeze thru the small spaces while risking getting our toes run over. muahaha. but thank God for the group of matamis guys who stopped the cars for us, heh. love and miss them so so much.

saturday was the real biiig day! our childrens outreach at navotas. woke up and began preparation with maricar. pst carlos' eldest daughter, who was to be our translator. simply, the outreach was a great success!!! the kids were oh-so-eager. and really open, excitable, sweet. just real country kids. we sang afew cw songs, then played dog and bone with a banana (!), then shared the Gospel thru pictures and illustrations on paper. at the end of it all, the entire group of abt 60-70 kids prayed the prayer in unison. what a chorus that rises to heaven as a sweet aroma! God must have been pleased. :) i was personally over the moon. the whole event was soo.. indescribable. distributing the candies was indeed a challenge. the kids would swarm over to you, literally pushing you over. haha and the guys were so worried abt us. but i was overjoyed, really. :D

we later went out for dinner together at jollibee. a fast food restaurant. jen, meh, lilian, pastor carlos, sis marie, maricar, dancio, michael, lhet, procy and myself. boy i had an amazing time!! :) they are so fun to be with. though theres that language barrier thing, we get along just awesome. more than awesome! :) went home for worship rehearsal. i was due to play for the sunday service see. :) lhet was at the guitar, sis marie was leading. procy and mic took turns with the tambourine. maricar was back up. ohyou should have seen how all of them groove to the songs! :) heh they have lovely dance steps to the praise songs. and they can really dance!! very very well. watching them so joyously dancing and praising away is such a joy. really brightens up everything.

so lhet taught me the songs, most tagalog (which are now some of my most favs! cant get enough of them). to sum it all up, i had an awesome time, hope they did too. lil said they were prolly happy just having someone play for them, and yup i was so so glad to be given that oppurtunity too. :) what a joy.

we did our presentation during the sunday svc, including the tagalog version of "God is so good", "jin jia ho" and "amazing grace", the revised version! haha hope they enjoyed it. i was at the keyboard. and jen, i did sing ok! maybe just to myself tho. haha. :D then after svc we tried learning the dance. hees. so fun right. we know abit of the song "Dios na makapangyarihan". which means God Almighty! i dare say i now know quite abit of tagalog! yayy.

went shopping again aft service. could not bear leaving the people, cos it would be the last time we were seeing them. gave them their gifts of bodyspray and chocs. sobbb. went back to mandaluyong. wasted lotsa time looking for starmall. you really lose your way at the mall there!

monday morning, we watched abit of the video taken on lilians videocam. haha. cant wait to watch it all over again! and remember the times we had there. dont know, but i really treasure that short period, and keep the memories close to my heart. i know i might not get the chance to go for another trip as this, whats more back to the same place to cont ministry there. anw im hoping and praying that i'll be given the chance again. :) and you guys too, you will absolutely not regret going.

i was very disappointed that my new-found friends did not come send us off on monday. i was very hopeful the entire sunday night and mon morning. but well they never showed up. its hard even to say all this cos i really really miss them!! haha sigh. i've started to write them their letters already. haha. oh but lhet was real nice too, he called all of us yesterday. said he misses us so much that he cried. ahaha. hmm yea i miss you all so so much! :)

so anw enough of my whining. all in all this was an awesome week. so much done in so little time. but im just hoping that what we've done may remain. that the seeds we've sown into the hearts of the people there will grow and multiply many fold. that what we've done in our weakness will be able to make such an impact on the people there! yupp.

Dios na makapangyarihan
haring kataas-taasan
saaking puso ay nananahan

Pagpapala mo't pagsama
ay laging nararanasan
kailanmaig hindi magiisa

Dios magpakailanman!

the king is enthralled by your beauty;
honour him, for he is your lord.
psalms 45:11

enthralled by your beauty. that means captivated, smitten, fascinated, spellbound, and delighted. that's exactly how the prince feels about the princess in fairy tales. but this sentiment is not fictional. enthralled is how God in heaven feels about you. He is taken with you. undistracted. intensely interested. emotionally connected. He is not bored with you, and He would never consider you ordinary. there is no way you will ever go unoticed with God. you are beautiful to Him. incredibly, breathtakingly beautiful. when a man feels this way about a woman, we say he is in love.

you have heard that God loves you, but maybe you have misunderstood. His love for you is not just a "whole world in his hands" kind of love. this love is individual. God and you. one-on-one. intimate. personal. romantic.

God's love for you is passionate and pure and without reservation. He never holds back or plays games with your heart. there are no riddles with God. this kind of love does not stand you up. He always shows up, always remembers, and always keeps His promises. God's love is unrelenting. He does not turn away even if you do. His excitement over you does not wane. God's love is not some namby-pamby kindergarten crush. He is not fickle. God has seen you from across the room, and He cannot take His eyes off you.

the love that God has for us is the love your soul was made for. it is an intimate, vulnerable, completing kind of love.

dont' forget, the king is enthralled by your beauty.

The COOL.

Which Extreme Student Stereotype Are You? (for RGS girls) by xx-blue-xx.

hmmmm. i did this super-duper loooong entry abt youth camp. and then the laptop was kinda cranky. couldnt copy and paste like what i usually do, knowing how risky it is with blogger. haha. then because that couldnt be done, the entire thing disappeared lor. i swore never to blog again! haha. urgggghh.